Soul For $ale

What's a soul worth these days? Five, ten, twenty, perhaps fifty dollars? Is it worth anything? Or is it worth everything? It depends on whose soul it is?

Would you opt for the soul of a criminal or saint? Mother Teresa or Charles Manson? How do we put a price on our soul anyway?

20-year old college student, Adam Burtle didn't wrestle with any of these questions when he put his soul on eBay, the biggest corporate pimp in the world. With bidding starting at five cents, apparently Burtle didn't think much of his soul. Before it was over, he would receive a bid of $400. to be exact.

Let us go back for a minute. How did Burtle wind up selling his soul at all? Was it just a gesture of a bored college student looking for pocket change or was it a cry for help from a soul looking for change?

We know the devil is always looking for willing and unwilling souls, so how did Burtle manage to stay below the devil's radar? Burtle's former girlfriend bid a devilish sum of $6.66 before she was swamped by a flurry of later bids, including one from a woman from Iowa who bid $400 before eBay yanked the item from its listings.

Burtle describes himself as an atheist and a geek, and wrote this description: 'Please realize, I make no warranties as to the condition of the soul. As of now, it is near mint condition, with only minor scratches. Due to difficulties involved with removing my soul, the winning bidder will either have to settle for a night of yummy Thai food and cool indie flicks, or wait until my natural death.'

The fact remains that Burtle's auction attracted serious bidders. There's no telling how high the price of Burtle's soul would have gone if eBay had let the bidding continue.

That was about something that happened in 2002. And guess what? It just happened again last week. Another young man tried to sell his soul on eBay. This one fetched a whopping $504. The winning bid came from a minister. For every $10, the young man is going to attend church and write about the experience.

If anything, eBay certainly spotlights the Theatre of the Absurd. Other absurd auction items include, the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich, Jesus on sheet metal, Jesus on a banana and many more bizarre items.

Maybe Wal-Mart should stock up on these misguided souls and sell them at a discount. What's next? Soul transplants? Soul implants? Who is the rightful owner of our soul? Is it us or is it God? We are the lease holder of our souls.

God is our landlord. Before we are returned back to God, we gather experiences that last several lifetimes.

When God first considers our applications, our soul's rental history is reviewed, references checked, and our spiritual bank accounts verified for funds.

Credit problems? Spiritual bankruptcy? Not a problem. God looks at everything before our application is approved. What's going to give our soul the experience it requires? Once we are approved, we are allowed to lease without a security deposit. Our souls are our only collateral.

So we can never cheapen our souls by putting them up for auction. They aren't ours to auction. When we get to the point of return, God reviews our history and selects another location for us. Our lease is renewed and we start all over again.

The next time you find yourself looking on eBay, be careful of what you bid for, it may come back to haunt you.