Have you ever thanked the people in your life that mean something to you, for no reason other than you love them? How about the people you work with? A waiter? Dry cleaner? Delivery person? Anyone in a service position?
Give them a sincere thank you and see how they react. It may throw them for a loop, but you’ll see the effect it has on them.
During a brief period when I took the bus, I always thanked the driver as I exited. At first they would do a double take and say, "Excuse me?" I would repeat, "Thank you."
Some would shrug it off and say, “Just doing my job,” and others would thank me for thanking them. They really seemed to appreciate it.
Just say, “Thank you.”
This little exercise will keep your heart open to the love current. It will cause other people’s heart to beat a little gentler, put a smile on their face, make them feel good, maybe even be the highlight of their day, which will in turn give them a good day and you will have accomplished an amazing feat -- spreading love. And you will have a pretty amazing day too.
Inject a little love into someone’s day. When they take inventory of their day tonight or whenever, they will remember what you said. They will remember that you gave the sunset a smile. A little love goes a long way, even into the heart of the sun.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste. The mind is also a terrible time waster. My friend, Duncan applied for his dream job of working as a producer on a film project. He met with all of the key players, got lots of positive feedback on his projects and was psyched to take the next step. The company said they would be in touch soon.
After three weeks, he hadn’t heard anything from them. His mind raced as he bombared it with a ton of questions.
“What if they didn’t like my projects?
What if they found somebody else? What if they do them behind my back? Without me?”
Any and every negative question that came up entered his mind. He couldn’t work on anything else because he keep thinking about it. He couldn’t eat, sleep or do anything without thinking about how they were going to rip his ideas off.
I kept telling him to think positive. He would sarcastically say,
“Okay, I am positive that they are up to something fishy.”
I would go into my “thoughts are powerful and never say never” spiel, just to see his eyes roll. I continued, When you have a negative thought, it’s fired like a starting pistol, then it’s off and running. All thoughts are good sprinters, but negative thoughts are great long distance runners.
He would say,
“I want to be more positive, but I just can’t. I’ve been through this before. Broken promises are standard in the film business. People will lie to your face, through their teeth, knowing they have no intention of doing what they say. It’s like a relationship. In the beginning everyone is nice, until they drop their guard. It’s like you expect them not to fulfill their promises.”
I understood his point and the difficulty he had with letting go of past experiences and looking at each experience as a brand new one. I just wanted him to understand that not everyone or every company is alike, although we can’t help but compare what we know to what we don’t know.
Then I reminded him of the story he told me. After six James Bond films, Sean Connery hung up his spy license and was looking out for greener pastures away from Bond.
Cut to years later.
A producer approached Connery and asked him if he wanted to do another Bond film? This "Bond film" was not part of the franchise produced by MGM and Danjaq. Kevin McClory, who was producer and co-writer of Thunderball, won a legal battle against Ian Fleming to make his own Bond movie. The settlement stipulated that it had to be a remake of Thunderball.
The film was called, Never Say Never Again, based on a conversation between Sean Connery and his wife. After Diamonds Are Forever, he told her he'd never play James Bond again, and there he was, playing James Bond again. Her response to him was, "never say never again." It’s officially the unofficial Bond film.
“Touché,” Duncan laughed. He liked this analogy. He liked it more that he originally told me the story and I repeated it. It made him feel good. He said, “Alexys, what does that have to do with thinking positive?”
I said, “It got your mind off of what you were thinking about. Isn’t that positive?”
“So the key to thinking positive is to distract your thoughts,” he asked?
“Yes, distract negative thoughts so eventually you will only have positive thoughts,” I answered.
It bears repeating. "By moving all of the negative thoughts out, you will only have room for positive thoughts. Let life work at it’s pace. You can’t hurry the process by pacing. If it is meant for you, nothing will stop it from happening. If it is not meant for you, nothing will make it happen."
Duncan was tired of waiting. He had to know if his thoughts were getting ahead of him. (No pun intended) I just think he has a natural inclination to prove me wrong. He’s like that.
He called his potential partners and they explained that they were trying to get a hold of him, but couldn’t. Their computers crashed and all of their contact information was in the computer and they were unable to retrieve it. The deal was still on.
"What if they're lying, he blurted out.
After explaining to Duncan how thinking big is a big deal, he took it to the next level like only he can. He was no better off than he was before. Now he was bombared with too many positive thoughts and he still couldn’t sleep. He needed a little negativity to mix it up. I told him to turn on the television news. There are worse things going on in the world.
A little positivity might keep you up, but it won’t kill you. Negativity will.
Living three blocks from Sony Studios, I often hear the cha-ching of their successful film franchises through the studio walls. In fact, that’s one reason I leave my windows open, hoping for a windstorm to blow some cash my way, but the steady stream of Brinks trucks rolling out of the gate soon blows my fantasy out of the window.
Imagine my surprise when I saw one of their biggest -- and I mean their biggest franchise stars slithering along the outer wall of stage 29 -- none other than Spider-Man himself.
With Sony rolling out the big guns for the premiere of Spider-Man 3, it’s no wonder Spider-Man has spun his web over the usually unostentatious Washington Boulevard, nestled on the back lot of Culver City.
The first two Spider-Man films had a combined worldwide theatrical gross of $1.6 billion. After footing the bill of over $300 million to produce Spider-Man 3, Wall Street film financing specialists are calling it the most expensive film ever made.
All of this got me thinking about superheroes and the role they play in our society. We’re so quick to praise a superhero, be it an athlete, actor, model, or anyone famous, when we don’t praise the people in our lives who mean the most to us -- the real superheroes.
The people who help us build our character, nobility and moral fiber, the teachers who inspire and push us to strive, the inner guides that give us confidence, courage and ability to be the best in our fields and to be decent human beings.
Have you ever felt like a superhero? Like you’re on top of the world? Fighting the injustices of society and standing up for what’s right? It makes you feel like you can do anything doesn’t it?
You can be a superhero just by being the best person you can be right now in this moment. You don’t have to have extraordinary powers, wear a skintight unitard, a mask, fly through the air, leap tall buildings in a single bound, dodge speeding bullets, or have special equipment to get you out of dangerous situations.
I think the basis for super heroism comes from living your life. What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done? Follow a difficult career path? Ask for a raise? Propose marriage? Have a baby? Raise kids? Whatever it is, it took strength to carry out your decision. Strength you drew from you superhero reserve.
I’ve had bouts of super heroism, including returning purses, wallets, cell phones and too much change. Just last week I received the wrong mail (again) -- an unsealed envelope with a $100. bill hanging out. I hand delivered it to the right person myself who was very grateful and shocked that honest people still exist.
I've also given directions, assisted strangers, reunited wandering toddlers with their unmindful parents at the mall, given my time to people and listened to them unburden themselves. Things that I didn’t think were a big deal and didn’t take much out of my day, but things that were a big deal to the recipients. Most of the time, people just want to know that they are not alone.
Others donate time or money anonymously, perform CPR, or save lives in other ways. A friend of mine even ran across traffic to stop a car that was rolling backwards out of a gas station driveway.
Our superheroes are not really foreign, it is a natural inclination to assist -- proving that the core reason we are all here is to protect and love each other; although those inclinations get seriously derailed at times.
In Spider-Man 3, Spider-Man finally succumbs to the dark side, giving up his good nature for a conflicted one. His suit turns black to reflect his downward spiral and the blackness of his essence.
The real gist of super heroism is that it takes super human strength to seek a path of self-knowledge and battle the dark side of human nature. We’re constantly battling our dark side, a superhero fights the dark side, he doesn’t become it.
Super heroism comes from a knowingness that Soul is invincible and it exists because a force greater than us loves us -- unconditionally. It comes from an self-assurance that we can conquer our battles and understand that they are a necessary part of life.
All we have to do is channel the pure force within us. Be the inspiration to others. Be the voice of reason. The fount of knowledge. The bridge of compassion. The heart of love. We must be our own superhero. Until we can be a superhero to ourselves, we can't be one to anyone else.
Though it takes super human strength to be a superhero, it is worth the fight to get to the source of our existence. We already have what it takes to win the battle. We can't be afraid to fight.
Who knows, maybe one day there will be a film made about us, but even if that doesn’t happen, we know that God is directing us anyway and always so we can start our own franchise of good will.
It doesn’t take a degree in rocket science, a Ph.D., a Nobel Peace prize or deciphering Einstein’s theory of relativity, but it is relatively simple. In fact, it’s so simple that many of us overlook it’s simplicity.
It’s worth more than any degree from anywhere in the world and we already have it. It’s our heart. That muscle that pumps one million barrels of blood through our veins at breakneck speed and precision without missing a beat.
In between it beating about 100,000 times a day, which is about 35 million times a year and over 2.5 billion times in an average lifetime, it also moonlights as a measurement for love, compassion and kindness. It’s contents are so precious that many don’t know how to make the most of it? And that leaves them sad, lonely, disappointed and disconnected.
So how do we make the most of our heart? Love. Love ‘til your heart’s content. Love ‘til you can feel the river of love flow through you and out into the world. Love ‘til the rocks move from the shore. Love ‘til the stars fall from the sky. Love. All the time. Love even when you feel that you have none. Do it with kindness.
By the time you’re into it, your heart will be so full of love that you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. You even get a bonus -- the more you give, the more you get. There’s no end to it. It all depends on you.
It doesn’t take much to give a little kindness here and there, in fact, it’s cool to be kind. It only takes one heart to fill another and so on and so forth. One small act of kindness could be a huge act to the recipient. It can change someone’s life and the ripple effect can then change someone else’s life.
Imagine if everyone did it? Wouldn’t that be amazing? And it all starts with love. If you love well, you live well. A life lived well is a life measured in love.While we all live in the heart of the world, we only have one heart. Our heart is the main artery to each other. Let’s nourish it together.
Do you really work well under pressure? Are you the type that craves the adrenaline rush? Is that what it takes to do your best work?
What type of worker are you? Do you prefer to work at your own pace or work in a fast environment with deadlines? Our personality traits and inner strength usually becomes apparent when we work under pressure.
For instance, some people think that if they cram for a test, their chances of passing it are very high. Other people find this method nerve wracking and without merit.
At certain times, pressure make us all feel like we are working for nothing; like our goals are further than we think. Our goals are as far as we can see them. If we can see them within our reach, then they are. If we think that we will never make it, then we probably won’t. Thoughts are powerful.
Whatever our capacity for pressure, I think that we have an internal system of weights and measures that give us the resolve to move forward in whatever we are doing. Life is full of daily pressures that take their toll on our spirit. However, there is always a bright spot or a moment of truth that comes through when we least expect it.
I found this parable a while back and it reminded me of how our will and determination can make us take a stand.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal wailed for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was too old and not worth retrieving. The well needed to be covered anyway and this was the perfect opportunity. So he invited all his neighbors to help him cover it.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then to everyone's amazement, he became silent. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit the donkey’s back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. As everyone continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take another step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
If you ever feel like you are alone and can’t shake your present impasse, remember the donkey’s resolve. Pain is a measure of your resistance to change. Take it from a donkey.
A friend of mine just quit his job after 10 years. He worked as a legal assistant to one of the most demanding bosses ever. His boss would have him do all of her personal errands such as making, airline/hotel reservations, picking up dry cleaning, ordering gifts, returning gifts, returning clothes that were worn to parties; everything you can imagine that had nothing to do with legal assisting.
He began to despise work. Hated it with a passion. It was causing him such anxiety that it brought on a series of migraine headaches. He would call in sick and when he returned the next day, he found that his work load had tripled. He felt like something inside of himself was broken. His Soul felt buried. Dead.
Finally, he woke up one day and quit. He was tired of being brow beaten by an overbearing and brutish boss. After that, he felt like a new man. Whatever transpired inside of him worked its way out to give him enough strength to dig his way out of the blackness.
So many times in life, people treat us awfully and we continue to allow it. We let them ride roughshod over us, suffocating our innate right to be treated decently. Why? Do we feel that we deserve it? Why? If you want to be treated with the utmost respect, you have to treat yourself first. Treat yourself well. Treat yourself. Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be yourself.
When we have had enough of an experience, we somehow find what it takes to get out of the mud. It may take years, sometimes less. There is no time limit, but when we become aware that we are never bound to one experience, we are more likely not to get caught in the traps that cause us pain.
Do you want to see what love can do? Want to see the power? Want to see how it affects people around you? I have just the thing for you.
If you want to see the magic of love. I mean really see the bud of it in an unassuming, unconditional environment, then try this. Declare yourself the vehicle for love.
Say to yourself, "My heart is open to love and everything it is."
By declaring yourself the vehicle for love, you are declaring yourself open to the vibration of the universe. That’s a powerful statement because you are opening the doors -- many doors to the hearts of others.
Every time I do it, it proves itself over and over. Not just in theory, but in practice. People will come up to me on the street and strike up conversations, they will hold doors open, smile, simple acts that are in direct response to my declaration.
I can tell because they seem to have a knowingness, an understanding of the universal umbilical cord that we are all connected. When that connection is acknowledged, we can benefit from its nourishment.
The best thing about this declaration is that it works when you’re depressed, when you’re happy, content, angry, it works all the time. Try it.
Last week. 6 pm. Everything shuts down. It’s dark. No sound. No movement at all. Dead silence. The clock stops. No phone. Just wind. The mighty wind.
Demanding attention. Orchestrating destruction. Laughing in the silence. Laughing as it silences the rattling air conditioner hanging out of the window across the way; the hum of the refrigerator; the beep of the microwave; the spin of the washing machine and the buzz of the dryer. Insurgent as it bangs the windows with vengeance, leaving a cacophony of inconsolable car alarms screaming in the confusion.
The sly movement of the digital clock is paralyzed; the VCR/DVD player, cordless phone and the fax machine, flashes 12:00, I repeat 12:00, in bright red lights. The electric garage gate is suspended in mid air.
The intercom is dead as a doorknob. The internet is down. The computer is lifeless. All because of a mighty wind that has strangled the electricity and slashed the lifeline that connects us to everyone and everything else.
Last week in a strange mix up, the West coast got a dose of East coast weather. Hail, rain, snow, and mini tornadoes all occurred simultaneously as the mighty wind released its fury, causing a power outage throughout the city that affected thousands of people.
Traffic was at a standstill. Thousands of motorists had to be rerouted because a light pole fell onto a freeway. Trees collapsed onto cars and a 55 year old Chinese Elm tree decimated a house.
So many things are run by electricity, yet when there is none, we can feel like an octopus with no arms. Nothing can make us feel so helpless. How many of us have spiritual power outages that leave us flat on our backs? Light bulbs have to be changed. Batteries have to be replaced or recharged.
If we spend so much time being the light for others and not replenishing ourselves, then we will be in darkness. If we want to shine our brightest, then we have to know when to recharge ourselves.
There is really nothing we can do for anyone, including ourselves if we burn ourselves out. Just like we are powerless in power outages, the same is true for spiritual power.
Darkness prevails. Where are those lights? Those ticking electric devices? Those annoying little sounds? Every split second that passes seems like a hour, a day, a week. Of all the times this could have happened. Why now?
I have a deadline. What if it never comes back on? What if? Six hours later. Midnight. The digital clock flashes 12:00, I repeat 12:00. The mighty wind has died. It has blown off. At least I don’t have to adjust the clocks right away. That number will be etched in my mind.
I will remember it as the day the wind lived and died. The day I got to reflect and recharge. Retreat. Replenish. Power outage or outage power? Hmm. I have to think about that. Ah, light once again.
Electricity running throughout the city and through my veins. Houston, we have liftoff.
The San Diego Freeway, also known as the 405 is a beast. A tenacious snake that wraps itself around every motorist in California and leaves them gasping for air. The only thing that matches its size is its congestion.
One of the busiest and most congested freeways in the world, the 405 is responsible for the development of several cities and suburbs along its route through the Greater Los Angeles area.
The San Diego Freeway's congestion problems are legendary, leading to the joke that the Interstate was named 405 because traffic moves at "four or five" miles an hour. I refer to it as, “The Gauntlet,” because getting through it is the challenge.
To make it even more challenging, the 405 is famous for dangerous high-speed chases too. The most famous chase in its history was one of the slowest. It was June 17, 1994.
In a bizarre pop culture snapshot, the notorious O.J. Simpson gave the 405 it’s own star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. He was driven by his former team mate in Simpson’s own white Ford Bronco.
People got out of their cars and looked over the freeway overpass to witness O.J. leisurely being chauffeured along the usually congested beast with police in warm pursuit. It ended hours later when Simpson finally surrendered to law enforcement. I truly witnessed a miracle that day -- the 405 had no traffic.
Currently, the 405 is being expanded. More lanes equals more congestion. More congestion equals more tension. I don’t want any tension, so I usually take alternate routes.
Except the other day, I was caught in the middle of the beast. What was I to do? I could abandon my car on the freeway like the Michael Douglas character does in the film, Falling Down, or I could just stay put and imagine I was at the beach watching the waves.
I asked God to show me a way out and open up the lanes. Then a song started playing on the radio that told me that everything was fine.
“One,” by U2. It was so nice of Bono and the boys to help me through my traffic nightmare. It gave me a time to reflect. I listened as Bono crooned. And you know what? The traffic started to move and I followed U2 all the way home, even though the song ended long before I got there, it continued to play in my head.
Do you have a song that makes everything alright? Gets you through the day? Through the night? Music is another way God speaks.
P.S. It’s a coincidence that I am posting this on the actual date 4/05. Come to think of it, maybe it was planned without my knowledge? God works in humorous ways.
Yesterday on my walk, I saw a proud father teach his young son how to ride a bicycle. He kept saying, “Keep your eyes forward Kyle.” As I walked by, the father exclaimed, “It’s his first day without training wheels.” I immediately applauded and said to Kyle, “That’s great. You did it.”
The father was so excited that he made me excited. Kyle rode about three feet, first wobbling a bit, then finding his balance. His father repeated, “Keep your eyes forward.”
Kyle’s father’s excitement caused such a positive reaction to Kyle’s whole being. As Kyle rode further without looking down, he gained more confidence and approval from his father.
Watching the exchange, I was touched at the man’s tenderness with his son. Though he was elated, there was something in his tone that was so gentle and sweet. Kyle was a young bird breaking out of his shell and his father was teaching him how to fly. I wish I would have had my camera with me. The expression on Kyle’s youthful face was awe-inspiring and would have made a beautiful picture on his father’s desk. He was teaching his son to focus and to never look back.
Hopefully Kyle would remember this time with love. We live in a society where men especially are afraid to be tender. Afraid to cry. Afraid to have feelings because they look at feelings as weakness. Though we know that’s nonsense, that still doesn’t stop many men from posturing or peacocking.
As we mature, we construct steel barriers to protect ourselves, but in the process we become hard, jaded, angry, unhappy and hurtful when situations don’t go our way.
We lose focus and we no longer keep our eyes forward. Situations that leave a bad taste in our mouths can find their way down to our hearts. That’s when we begin to close off and retreat into a world of darkness. However, we can reverse the process.
When we feel that we are going into a dark moment, we can remember the moments that we felt love and tenderness. The times when we were taught something new. When we learned how to fly. Not to forget the people who touched our hearts. We can’t deny ourselves tenderness. It can save our heart.
If you ever want love, try a little tenderness. If you’ve ever felt love, it was with tenderness. If you’ve never felt love and you don’t know what love feels like, open your heart and ask the universe to show you love. To show you your capacity for love. Simply say, “Universe, show me love.” Watch what happens. You will be amazed.
Be tender with each other. It allows love to gently walk through your heart into someone else’s heart. Keep your eyes forward and never look back.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, education, money, circumstances, failure, successes, and what other people think, say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. We have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our Attitudes.”
~Charles R. Swindoll
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